Friends Are Found Family

An ode to my friends

“Friendship isn’t a big thing; it’s a tiny million little things” - Paulo Coelho

There’s thousands of choices we make in our lifetimes. So many we don’t even comprehend we’re making. Something even as simple as getting out of bed. Some decisions are crucial for the trajectory of our lives; one of them is our choice of friends.

Some people view friendships as transactional relationships. They seek some sort of gain or benefit from it. From that I truly believe many people don’t understand the sanctity of true friendship. I feel eternally to lucky to know what true friendship feels like. I’ve felt what the wrong ones feel like too. But the real ones, you really wouldn’t change for the world. It’s what makes your everyday more bearable.

Your moments of happiness, you choose to spend with them. It is only with them that the most mundane task can become the most enjoyable.

In short, this is an ode to my friends, especially my bestfriend.

What I’ve come to learn is that even family can let you down. There is something to be said about the fact that not everyone is lucky enough to be blessed with the kind of family that moves with so much unison and trust amongst them. So we look outwards to find our family. To build a group of people that feel like what family should feel like.

It takes a lot of trial and error, and a lot of understanding who you are as a person to determine who the right people are for you. It’s natural to even make mistakes in that process, we are still learning individuals at the end of the day. Thus we unfortunately cannot know from the get go who should remain close and who shouldn’t.

As someone that always thought unconditional love was always prevalent in families, I’ve come to the sad realisation that it isn’t. And you can only love someone if you choose to. That rhetoric doesn’t change just because it’s family. Don’t get me wrong there is unconditional love with family members, it’s just important to remember that it isn’t unconditional love because its family. It is so, because you simply love each other for who you are.

Which is why found families are so important in my opinion. Why friendships are what allow us to live a happy life. The universe allows us to cross paths and we hand pick each other to be important in one anothers lives. There is nothing quite like spending a night in with friends making dinner, drinking wine and talking for hours. Or exploring the world together. Going on weekly coffee dates.

Friends are reflections of who we are. And whether you are 5 minutes away from each other or thousands of miles apart, no true friendship will crumble under that pressure. I always wonder about that when it comes to my bestfriend and myself; whether we would ever drift apart because of distance. I’ve come to the conclusion it simply isn’t a possibility. Because there isn’t a single friend I can choose that I would love or feel more bonded to than her.

No matter where we are in the world, she will always be the person I chose in this life to always be beside. She will be my maid of honour. An aunt to my future children. My wine partner. My coffee partner. My twin flame.

Yet this goes for any of my friends, they simple couldn’t be replaced. You can always count on your true friends to be honest with you even in the face of adversity. They won’t shy away, and they will always be on the same page as you morally. They will love you unconditionally. And you will love them even more if its possible.

So when you are choosing friends, choose them wisely. Without really realising you’re building a little family for yourselves. A community to rely on, people to warm your heart and make even the difficult times somehow okay. An honest friend will always cheer the loudest for you and will never try to diminish your light. You will always uplift each other.

If you haven’t already… go tell them you love them.